A dream that made me cry

I dreamt of you, again.


This time, I see you clearly. It’s not like my previous dreams where I just know and feel it’s you but I never see you.


We first got together again on an out of town adventure. After we got back, you spent time with me and told me you wanted me. You’ve always known I already have a son, and you, you already have a daughter. She has your eyes. You said her mom left her to you saying that she will just present a project in the province and has not come back since then. You most of the time hug me from behind and I can feel your whole body against mine. I can feel you needing me in more ways than one. I can feel your heartbeat. I can feel your sincerity. I can feel your emotions when you said that you’ve always loved me. When I asked you if you were married, you said “no, you weren’t.” You had me listen to your playlist, and I told you I’ve always loved the music you recommend to me. Told you we almost had the same taste in music. I love how you hold my hands. I love how to rub the back of my hand with your thumb while we watch a movie you had set up somewhere, a public cinema I suppose. At first it was only us watching then eventually I’ve noticed other people watching too, enjoying the movie you chose. We even almost fought because you wanted to do “things” I am not ready to do yet. I told you to find somebody else to do it with. I was already walking away from you but you followed me. Told me you’d wait for me to be ready again. I told you, you can always find somebody else better than me, somebody prettier, somebody sexier and somebody without a kid. You hugged me from the back again, tighter this time. Told me I am the only one.
I ended up crying coz I know, I knew from the beginning that it was just a dream. Because I know reality can never be this good. Because I know in reality, we’re just really not meant to be.


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